For a long time, I noticed something in myself, and in many of the women I worked with. We talked about our health as if it were something happening to us.
"My hormones are just like this." "I have always had bad digestion, it runs in my family." "I guess this is just what getting older feels like."
Do any of these sound familiar? They did to me, for a long time. There is a name for this way of thinking: being a passenger in your own wellbeing. Not because anyone is doing anything wrong, but because it feels as if your body is simply happening to you, and you have no say in it. There is another way to look at it. Once you see it, it is hard to unsee. This post is general information, not medical advice.
Two ways to see the same morning
Say you wake up tired for the third day in a row. The passenger mindset says: "This is just how I am now. My energy is gone. I guess I have to live with it."
The creator mindset says: "Something is behind this. Let me find out what I can learn, and what I can change."
Same tired body, same morning, two completely different next steps. The passenger mindset stops at the feeling. The creator mindset uses the feeling as a clue, a signal that points toward something that can be understood and often adjusted. This is not about blaming yourself for feeling tired or stuck. It is not your fault when your body sends you signals. But it is your choice what you do once you notice them.
Why is this shift so hard?
Here is the honest truth: the creator mindset takes more effort, at least at first. It is easier to say "this is just how I am" than to ask "why is this happening, and what might be underneath it?" The second question asks you to look closer. It might mean facing patterns, habits you picked up from your family, or choices you have made without noticing.
Many of us were never taught to ask these questions. We were taught to see a doctor, get a quick answer and move on. Nobody sat us down and said: you are allowed to be curious about your own life. So if this shift feels hard, that is normal. It is not because something is wrong with you. It is because most of us were never shown a different way.
What changes when you become the creator?
You ask better questions. Instead of "why is this happening to me?", you ask "what is this trying to tell me?" One small change in wording opens a completely different path.
You stop waiting for permission. The passenger mindset waits: for someone to explain it, for someone to fix it, for the right moment to start. The creator mindset starts noticing now, with what you already have.
You take patterns seriously, and less personally. Maybe a certain struggle runs in your family. The creator mindset does not say "that is just genetics, nothing I can do". It says: what part of this is mine to work with?
You give yourself credit for small wins. Change rarely happens all at once. The creator mindset notices when something, even something small, gets a little better, and treats it as proof that change is possible.
A personal note
This was a huge moment for me, the kind you do not forget. For a long time, I let something I could not change define who I was. It turned my life upside down, and then back up again. It made me angry. I became almost obsessed with every little thing I heard might be bad for me, or might change how I felt.
At some point, my life was so ruled by rules and restrictions that I could not even see a way out. Until one day, I asked myself a simple question: what if there is a different way to live?
That was it. Just that one small question. And slowly, I started to make changes. Small ones at first. Over time they added up to a life I could not have imagined back then. The life I live now started with three little words: "what if". Everything changed from there.
That shift did not happen overnight, and it was not only about health. Once you start seeing yourself as someone who shapes her life, instead of someone things happen to, it tends to spill into other areas too: how you make decisions, how you see opportunities and how you think about what is possible for you. That is a bigger story for another time.
Is this about doing everything yourself?
One more thing worth saying clearly. Becoming the creator of your wellbeing does not mean figuring it all out alone, or ignoring doctors and professionals. It means you stop being a passenger in your own story. You still ask for help. You still see a doctor when you need one. But you are the one asking the questions, noticing your patterns and deciding what to look into next, instead of simply accepting the first explanation you are handed.
Three small ways to practice
- Swap one sentence. When you catch yourself saying "I am just like this", add "so far" or "and what if it could be different?"
- Keep a short note. Write down one thing that felt good today and one thing that did not. After a week, look for what repeats.
- Ask one better question. Instead of "why me?", try "what could I try this week?"
Be kind to yourself
Being a creator does not mean being in control of everything. Some things are simply not ours to change, and acceptance is a strength too. The point is to notice where you do have a choice, and to use it gently.
Your next step
Think of one sentence you often say about your body or your energy. Write it down. Then ask yourself: what if there is another way to look at this?
Every week I send out a short email with one simple tip, a few things I personally use and love and updates on what is coming next. You can join my weekly Wellness Notes.
0 Comments